A group of kids skipped school AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT OMG WTF?

I’ll leave it to you to figure out what this is an ad for.

 


Glitter pills would make you poop glitter but don’t take them because that would be stupid

glitter_pills

Speaking of butts, someone is selling Glitter Pills on Etsy. They’re supposed to make you poop glitter, apparently, but they’re not supposed to make you poop glitter because you’re not supposed to take them. You’re just supposed to look a them and think “Haha. Those pills would make me poop glitter but swallowing glitter would be dangerous, so I’ll just look at them.” Some people probably take them anyway. But you shouldn’t. Don’t take the glitter pills.

From the site: “this item is not meant for consuption, and is only intened for decorative purposes and are not edible, store is not responsible for any misuse of product.” (Typos theirs)

Another way to poop glitter is to becomes a burlesque performer. All the burlesque ladies wind up pooping glitter after performances. It’s a hazard of the trade.


A Frenchman invented pills to make your farts smell like roses

Poincheval

OK, so I’m late to this party. That’s because I’ve been busy. Also because nobody invites me to parties anymore, so I have to crash them and then I drink all the booze and yell at people, which is why nobody invites me to parties. None of that is true. Anymore. Except the part about me being late to the party, and being busy.

They call that a LEDE, people. Look it up. It’s a writing term.

ANYWAY.

This guy claims to have invented a pill that makes your farts smell like roses or chocolate.

According to The Telegraph, a Frenchman named Christian Poincheval has developed a range of pills aimed at making people’s flatulence smell sweeter that he says will make the perfect Christmas present.

They’re apparently made of “100 percent natural ingredients such as fennel, seaweed and blueberries.”

You can buy them online at pilulepet.com, where they retail for €9.99 euros for a jar of 60.

“Mr Poincheval said he came up with the idea for the pills one evening when he was enjoying a hearty meal with some friends.

“Our farts were so smelly we were nearly suffocated. Something had to be done,” he said.

So he began researching natural ingredients that would reduce flatulence and after months of experimentation came up with the recipe for his pills.

He has been selling the pills since 2006 and says he sells several hundred a month.” (The Telegraph)

The part that stands out most about this story for me is who farts at the dinner table??? Yeesh. That’s disgusting.


This lady bounced her boobs to wish you a Happy Holidays

Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce….


100 years of beauty in one minute

Here are 100 years of beauty in one minute. It’s pretty neat and doesn’t take much time to watch. I miss the 1980s.


Grandmas smoke weed for the first time

Have you seen this yet? It’s six minutes of grandmas smoking weed, snacking, playing board games and making sex jokes. I like the part where they need vocab lessons.

 


Here are some cute hamsters serving drinks and sushi

hamster2

Because there aren’t enough pictures of cute things on the internet. These are from Twitter user @Kawanabesatou, who is Japanese – OBVIOUSLY – and who likes to create little scenes with hamsters serving food and beverages, then share them with us. It’s like that time the hedgehog had a birthday party and it all went to hell, only with sake.

 

hamster6 hamster5 hamster4 hamster3 hamster


The world’s most popular BS “facts” that everyone is always spewing

Napoleon wasn’t short, ancient Romans didn’t eat until they puked in a vomitorium, and you can’t see the Great Wall of China from Space. I’m sorry. But you can’t.

Everybody everywhere needs to read this. If you’re one of those people that enjoy (One of those people that enjoy? One of those people that enjoys? I think it’s enjoy. But I always feel like I get this wrong) saying that people only use 10% of their brains, then you need to read it twice.

It’s an infographic listing the most popular mythconceptions, or the many things you probably thought were true but aren’t.

Thank you to David McCandless at Information is Beautiful, where you can see a larger version. 

(I got this via Geekologie)

 

mythconceptions-large


Pepperoni pizza bed

 

pepperoni_bed

 

Here is a bed that looks like a pepperoni pizza. But what if you’re a vegetarian? Do they have a vegetarian option? Can I get one that’s half pepperoni and half meatless? And I like thin crust. Can you do thin crust? Extra cheese. Ooh! And can I have extra garlic? Thaaaaaaaanks.

(via the appropriately named Emotional Rainbow)


Grandparents accidentally tagging Grandmaster Flash on Facebook

GF1

So, you know how Facebook autofills every single stupid thing as a tag, so you’re always like “NO, I DON’T WANT TO TAG BOB, I’M TRYING TO WRITE THE WORD “BORED” GODF*CKINGDAMMITWHATISWRONGWITH YOU!?”

Well, it seems that when grandparents try to type “Grandma” or “Grandpa” it autofills as Grandmaster Flash, and they don’t always catch it, so they wind up sending Facebook messages and signing them “Grandmaster Flash” – which is fitting. Geddit? Geddit? He’s sending a…messsssssage? Geddit?

And now there’s a Tumblr dedicated to the phenomenon, because even though autotagging sucks, the world is awesome.

Checkit. (Via Buzzfeed)

gf3 gf4 gf6

gf2


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 80 other followers