Royal Guard plays Game of Thrones theme

I have no idea what you’re talking about. So, here’s the Royal Guard at Buckingham Palace playing the Game of Thrones theme. I love it. These guys are cool. Remember the time they played the Imperial March?

I think the Queen is a fan of GoT, since she was recently snapped standing next to the Iron Throne, though not sitting on it. I hope she’s a fan because maybe she can get George R.R. moving on those last two books. I mean, if anyone could she could, right? Maybe?

It’s been a hip week at the palace, as Her Majesty also made news today for photobombing a selfie.

Royal selfie for hockey players

Selfie toaster


Move over Jesus. There’s a new toastface in town and it’s MINE. Or whoever’s. It’s a customizable selfie toaster by a company called Burnt Impressions, that specializes in toasters that create images, which I think is a probably a pretty niche market.

If you’re wondering how it works, there’s more info on Mashable.

Tiny animals eat tiny cake at hedgehog borthday…borthday? I mean birthday party.

I have been really busy, though I do plan to start posting again soon.

In the meantime, if you land here and are all “Where is everyone?!” here’s a video of a hedgehog birthday party.


But then the hedgehog jumps on the table and knocks shit over and I’m like “RUDE!”

Beauty ideals in different countries. The USA has really weird taste


This is so weird.

Ester Honig, a “human interest reporter” shared a picture with 40 photo editors in over 25 countries, using service sharing site Fiverr (not sure if the project is an ad for Fiverr but it might as well be) and told them to “make me look beautiful.” So they went to town with the Photoshop.

The idea, I think, is that it’s supposed to show the ideal beauty in each of these countries, though really it may just show the ideal of the photo editor and maybe doesn’t say anything about the country at all. I don’t know. But let’s say it does say something about the country (it makes a better headline)…

The result? She looks worse in every single retouched photograph than in the untouched one (above). I’m not just saying that. She’s a pretty girl  and I really think she looks better as is – and I don’t say that about everyone (OK, I kind of do but not ALWAYS).

The U.S.A. version is literally gross. She looks like a child pageant queen with a squishy face starring in a young adult vampire B movie.

More takeaways:

Sri Lankans don’t know how to apply makeup evenly

Germans like redheads

Greeks really likes eyelashes

WTF, Philippines?

Meanwhile, Honig herself said, “Photoshop allows us to achieve our unobtainable standards of beauty, but when we compare those standards on a global scale, achieving the ideal remains all the more elusive.”

Here are the pictures.







Sri Lanka
























































Automatic sperm collector

I’m glad I’m not the guy who just stuck his finger in this thing, only to find out it’s a SPERM COLLECTOR, designed for use in fertility clinics and hospitals. Because, gross.


This is a very weird video

Sooooo, this was posted in 2006, but Pee Wee Herman just posted it now on Twitter, which brought it to the attention of Laughing Squid, which brought it to to mine.

Here is a super weird woman exercising with poodles. And, apparently, this is a word-for-word parody of Susan Powter’s first workout video. ( Susan Powter is also very strange. And loud.)

The video was part of a series of 10 films made for the 2004 Athens Olympics, by Nagi Noda.

Guinea pigs eating watermelon

I have no idea what you’re talking about. So, here are some guinea pigs eating watermelon.

Man performs CPR on a squirrel

This guy found a squirrel floating lifeless in a pool and saved it with CPR. Because he is awesome. Who does that?

I’m a little worried because that looks like a baby squirrel and I don’t know where his mommy is but maybe I’m overthinking this. I have a tendency to overthink things.

Man gets stuck in Vegas airport alone, overnight. Makes epic music video


My friends and I got stuck in Vegas overnight. We got sent to a LA Quinta motel, which I think is Spanish for “Air Canada are f*cking cheap bastards.”

This guy got stuck in Vegas overnight and stayed in the airport to make this AMAZING music video to Celine Dion’s “All By Myself,” making good use of the moving sidewalks, escalators and assorted airport whatnot.

He explains (via Gawker)

“I had a person behind a ticket counter give me a roll of luggage tape before she left. I then used a wheel chair that had a tall pole on the back of it and taped my iPhone to that. Then I would put it on the moving walkway for a dolly shot. I also used the extended handle on my computer bag and taped the iPhone to my handle. I would tuck different stuff under the bag to get the right angle. For the escalator shot I had to sprint up the steps after I got my shot so the computer bag didn’t hit the top and fall back down. Quite fun!”

Who wins? This guy. I wish we’d thought of this.

(Thanks Gabriella!)


Bad parkour. I could totally do this.


You know how you’re always coming up with ideas* for awesome creative projects and 99.9%** of them never materialize? Then, once in a while, someone else goes and does it and you’re all “HEY! THAT WAS MY IDEA, DIRTBAG!”

I have this one, it’s called “Pick Your Ass.” My plan is to take pictures of people’s naked butts – just the butt – like dozens of them, maybe hundreds, label them so that only I know whose is whose, then mount them on a wall and invite everyone to see if they can pick their own ass out of a lineup. I love this idea. I have been talking about doing it for about five years. I will probably never do it.

No, nobody has gone and done that. That would be insane.

But my husband has been talking for about as long about making a “parkour” video of himself jumping on and off curbs and such and taking it very seriously. And now someone has gone and done that.  “HEY! THAT WAS MY HUSBAND’S IDEA, DIRTBAG!”

It’s not exactly the same but it’s pretty close. Oh well. It’s amusing.

When you’re drunk

** 100%


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