I don’t know what this means…

But it’s got Matthew Broderick in it announcing he’s Not GoooooING  TO WORKTODAYYYYYY! What? Yep.

 


Awesome new menswear line from Thom Browne

I was gonna get this outfit for David but I’m not sure he’d have anywhere to wear it. How come nobody ever invites us to Fetish parties at Eton? Or to Pinhead’s Oxford graduation? My friends suck.

See the rest of this guy Thom Browne’s menswear collection here at Super Punch. (via Laughing Squid)


Zombie garden gnomes

I’m generally sick of zombies. You guys, we’ve done ALL WE CAN with the zombie apocalypse. There are dozens of movies – like Zombieland and Sean of the Dead – and books on how to survive the zombie apocalypse – like The Zombie Survival Guide – and cutesy reimaginings like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and a TV show about the zombie apocalypse called The Walking Dead, there’s a zombie walk…and there’s ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN DO WITH ZOMBIES. They are not that multi-purpose. They eat people, often brains. They…are scary? They…what? What do they do? They’re not even as flexible as vampires, which are already limited, if you’re not a 15-year-old girl. I’m sick of the farking zombie craze.

Generally.

But today I saw this.

Zombie gnomes. I think. And well, there are some people out there with original ideas after all. I wish I knew who they were. (Link)


Totally the best effing hardcore song by an 8 yr old you will hear today

This is Juliet. She’s eight and Australian she wrote a hardcore song and it is the best hardcore song by an eight year old you will hear ALL DAY. The YouTube page reads:

“8 yr old Juliet teamed up with the hottest producer ROB SHARPE this school holidays and smashed out this BRUTAL track.. Juliet takes you on a journey of her love for her dog, Robert and how her pet fish stink even tho Juliet has zero sense of smell. The Australian Hardcore scene will never be the same!!”

Robert, the dog is really cute.

You can buy the T-shirt here…and the song will soon be available for purchase.

Let’s open up this pit. (via Laughing Squid)


R.I.P. Johnny Otis…of Snatch and the Poontangs (among other things)

R.I.P. Johhny Otis, bandleader, multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, producer, talent scout, deejay, “Godfather of R&B.” Otis died Tuesday in Los Angeles at age 90.

Here’s a 1969 recording Otis made as Snatch and the Poontangs with his son Shuggie on guitar and Delmar “Mighty Mouth” Evans on vocals. Yep. Snatch and the Poontangs.


Florida: Call # on sign to report missing sign. Wait..what?

This is an actual thing, and not a hoax.

John Stossel of Fox Business called The Florida Department of Revenue and asked for an explanation. He was told, “A vending machine operator that does not place the notice on the machine presumably is not in compliance with the other requirements such as registration and payment of the tax.”

So, it just like Van Halen’s famous rider clause demanding no brown M&M’s anywhere in the backstage area on penalty of forfeiture of the show with full payment to the band. This has gone down in legend as an example of the band’s diva behaviour at the height of their career (late 70’s-early 80s). But in reality it was a test to see that producers were paying attention, since VH gigs were so technically complex for the time. David Lee Roth explained in his 1997 book Crazy from the Heat, “ if I saw a brown M&M in that bowl . . . well, line-check the entire production.  Guaranteed you’re going to arrive at a technical error.  They didn’t read the contract.  Guaranteed you’d run into a problem.  Sometimes it would threaten to just destroy the whole show.  Something like, literally, life-threatening.”

See? The same! Sort of.

But the question remains…if the sign is missing, how do we know what number to call?

(Image via popehat)


???????????

No, seriously.


Supercut of Lionel Richie’s Hello!

This made my day. Ha! Someone took the time to go through all these movies just so they could put together a video of actors saying the lyrics to Lionel Richie’s “Hello,” It’s so weird that this is a thing.

Last week I found one of Obama “singing” Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” Who. Has. This. Sort. Of. Time? WHO? (Oh, actually, I have an answer. For the first one, anyway. This guy)

I sometimes wish I wasn’t the sort of person who needed eight hours of sleep a night, as I often think one thing that’s holding me back from incredible success is my sleep requirements. The things I could accomplish with three or four more hours in a day! Is the work of an insomniac? Is this what people with extra time on their hands do? Or is there some sort of software that does it for you?


Awesomely weird rural girl clogs to The Cure, Siouxsie, Bowie

I love this girl. Spinner.ca is calling her videos “viral” which seems like a bit of a stretch, considering they’ve only got a few thousand views each…still, they brought her to my attention. This 17-year-old from “somewhere in central Georgia” is letting her freak flag fly and is my WTF of the day. She calls herself the “Rocker Clogger” and makes videos of herself clog dancing in her backyard to music like The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Johnny Cash and David Bowie, then posts them on her YouTube channel. And she has a pet donkey. I am totally jealous of her weirdness. I bet she doesn’t care what kids in high school think of her, because there’s no WAY she’s popular, right? I wish I’d had the guts to be this weird at that age and didn’t give a damn. Of course, there’s the problem that I wasn’t NEARLY this interesting. My main interests were smoking, boys and um…I think I might have been reading some Anne Rice novels. I didn’t have much substance…also, I’m probably off. All the cool kids in rural Georgia are probably clogging it up to eighties alternative and little Rocker Clogger here is going to be the damn Homecoming Queen.

I also really want to know what lives in the coop behind her. Chickens? Badgers? Adam Ant?


Finally. Jaws: the 3D porn version

The third dimension is terror, hot, sexy terror.

If, when you saw Jaws 3D back in 1983, you thought to yourself, “This would make a much better porn flick,” you’re in luck!

Hustler has teamed up with Adam and Eve for the porn parody This Ain’t Jaws XXX.

The sex parody features Alexis Ford, Jayden Cole, Phoenix Marie, Lily LaBeau, Dale DaBone and Evan Stone. Those names mean nothing to me but if you’re a follower of the XXX scene, they might mean something to you.

The film was shot entirely in 3D

The movie comes out January 31. Here’s the trailer. It doesn’t tell you much about the plot, and you probably don’t get the full experience without the 3D glasses. (via Horror Year Book)


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