Poop shirt is poopy, has matching shoes

poop

This classic timeless shirt is patterned with the poop emoji. Created by Betabrand, it retails online for $79.20, and also has matching shoes.

Details:

Lightweight cotton with custom poo-emoji print.
Textured faux-shell buttons.
Left-side chest pocket.
Machine wash cold, line dry.
Successfully funded on Feb 05, 2015.
Made in San Francisco.

Buy here: http://www.betabrand.com/poo-emoji-button-up-short-sleeve-shirt.html

poo_4 poop-2 poo_1


Deep thoughts with Cookie Monster

My daughter has this singing Cookie Monster doll that won’t shut up after you press the talk button, which happens by accident all the time, like you step on it, or the cat lies down on it, or you take the talking box thing out and shove it in a drawer then you forget about it and shove something else into that same drawer in the middle of the night and SET OFF THE MOTHERFRAKKING COOKIE MONSTER AGAIN WAKING UP THE KID AND GODAMMITSOMUCH.

I hate that doll.

I might like it  a bit better if it said things like this. I said MIGHT. I’m not good at hypotheticals.


Mantis disguised as a flower eating a bee

This totally looks like a flower but it’s NOT A FLOWER. It’s a devilishly cunning BUG. Diabolical, right?

Via Geekologie


GOT Monopoly

This is Game of Throne Monopoly, which is coming out some time in the future of this year, and which, according to the HBO website features “infamous locations from the original dramatic television series, including Castle Black, Winterfell and King’s Landing.”

Do they really mean “infamous” or is that just a misuse of “famous?” I can’t actually tell here.

Anyway, players will “players will buy, sell and trade their way to sit atop the Iron Throne,” and “Collectible tokens include: Dragon Egg, Three-Eyed Raven, White Walker, Direwolf, Crown and The Iron Throne,” while,  “Custom Villages and Keeps replace traditional Houses and Hotels.”

I assume jail will be one of Lysa Arryn’s sky cell things. I probably won’t play because I get bored playing Monopoly, and also CRAZY competitive, which is kind of a weird combination. And I have literally never won a game of Monopoly in my life. I hate Monopoly. But, you know, you might want to play. So, FYI.


Motor oil, skunk, and B.O. candles, for all your air freshening needs

This company, the Stinky Candle Co., also makes candles that smell like delicious things, like chocolate chip cookies, buttered popcorn, and pickles. But it’s the body odor, skunk, and motor oil candles and such that make them cute. And urine? My first thought was “Ain’t nobody gonna buy that!” But then I realized that at the very least there will be gag gifts and that the world is a strange place.

burrito_candle

gas_candle

motor_oil_candle

onion_candle

skunk_candle

urine_candle


Rap about why you shouldn’t stay in school is brilliant

I’ve been a fan of this guy Dave for a while now, and the level of that fandom just jumped even higher. I love this. If I were 20 years younger and single I’d have a crush.


Meteorite shoes

meteorite_shoesThese are shoes modeled on meteorites.

They’re made by Studio Swine and according to the website they were inspired by the recent landing of the Philae lander module on comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. Studio Swine says they visited the “best meteorite collection in the world” then used 3D scanners and something something. And, while they look really uncomfortable, apparently they’re lined with soft Italian leather and made with lightweight aluminum foam so maybe they’re not that bad.

Whatever. I don’t understand fashion.


Mazel Tov motherf*cker. It’s the Dr. Dreidel.

dr-dreidel

Hanukkah just got real up in this piece. I need this toy right now, to go with my Ludacrismas presents. Because we’re a dual faith household. OK, that didn’t work so well but I am pressed for time. Big Daddy Candy Kanes? Oy. Even worse. Never mind. I’ll leave it to the professionals.

Like artist artist Hannah Rothstein who created the Dr. Dreidel. Its conception needs no explanation, natch.

According to her website:

“Each Dr. Dre face has been carefully chosen to correlate with the ‘aftermath’ of the dreidel’s spin.

  • ג  Gimmel, ‘take all,’ is a dreidel player’s dream. It gets a thumbs up from a happy Dr. Dre.
  • ה Hay, ‘take half,’ is no reason to party, but isn’t too shabby, hence the mildly smug portrait or Dr. Dre.
  • נ Nun, ‘nothing happens,’ is a boring outcome. A dead-pan Dr. Dre affirms this.
  • ש Shin, ‘put one in,’ is pretty depressing; the dreidel player loses an M & M or other such playing piece. But shins are seldom a chronic problem in dreidel. Dr. Dre’s definitely overreacting.”

A group of kids skipped school AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT OMG WTF?

I’ll leave it to you to figure out what this is an ad for.

 


Glitter pills would make you poop glitter but don’t take them because that would be stupid

glitter_pills

Speaking of butts, someone is selling Glitter Pills on Etsy. They’re supposed to make you poop glitter, apparently, but they’re not supposed to make you poop glitter because you’re not supposed to take them. You’re just supposed to look a them and think “Haha. Those pills would make me poop glitter but swallowing glitter would be dangerous, so I’ll just look at them.” Some people probably take them anyway. But you shouldn’t. Don’t take the glitter pills.

From the site: “this item is not meant for consuption, and is only intened for decorative purposes and are not edible, store is not responsible for any misuse of product.” (Typos theirs)

Another way to poop glitter is to becomes a burlesque performer. All the burlesque ladies wind up pooping glitter after performances. It’s a hazard of the trade.


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