How to become gluten intolerant

This video is way over-long. And at first I thought the exaggeration for effect was overdone (YES, I thought it over exaggerated and that is totally not redundant here), but then I remembered the time I was at an event that actually had an abundance of food options for people’s various intolerances and proclivities and this woman made the biggest production over the fact that a knife that had been used on a with-gluten cake had touched a non-gluten cake. And, sure, maybe she had Celiac disease, but it’s funny, you know, because the one and only card-carrying Celiac person I actually know would NEVER behave that way.

ANYWAY.

Video.


Bluegrass version of Thunderstruck

I just thought you might enjoy this bluegrass rendition of Thunderstruck. Fingerpickin’ good.


Poop shirt is poopy, has matching shoes

poop

This classic timeless shirt is patterned with the poop emoji. Created by Betabrand, it retails online for $79.20, and also has matching shoes.

Details:

Lightweight cotton with custom poo-emoji print.
Textured faux-shell buttons.
Left-side chest pocket.
Machine wash cold, line dry.
Successfully funded on Feb 05, 2015.
Made in San Francisco.

Buy here: http://www.betabrand.com/poo-emoji-button-up-short-sleeve-shirt.html

poo_4 poop-2 poo_1


Deep thoughts with Cookie Monster

My daughter has this singing Cookie Monster doll that won’t shut up after you press the talk button, which happens by accident all the time, like you step on it, or the cat lies down on it, or you take the talking box thing out and shove it in a drawer then you forget about it and shove something else into that same drawer in the middle of the night and SET OFF THE MOTHERFRAKKING COOKIE MONSTER AGAIN WAKING UP THE KID AND GODAMMITSOMUCH.

I hate that doll.

I might like it  a bit better if it said things like this. I said MIGHT. I’m not good at hypotheticals.


GOT Monopoly

This is Game of Throne Monopoly, which is coming out some time in the future of this year, and which, according to the HBO website features “infamous locations from the original dramatic television series, including Castle Black, Winterfell and King’s Landing.”

Do they really mean “infamous” or is that just a misuse of “famous?” I can’t actually tell here.

Anyway, players will “players will buy, sell and trade their way to sit atop the Iron Throne,” and “Collectible tokens include: Dragon Egg, Three-Eyed Raven, White Walker, Direwolf, Crown and The Iron Throne,” while,  “Custom Villages and Keeps replace traditional Houses and Hotels.”

I assume jail will be one of Lysa Arryn’s sky cell things. I probably won’t play because I get bored playing Monopoly, and also CRAZY competitive, which is kind of a weird combination. And I have literally never won a game of Monopoly in my life. I hate Monopoly. But, you know, you might want to play. So, FYI.


Rap about why you shouldn’t stay in school is brilliant

I’ve been a fan of this guy Dave for a while now, and the level of that fandom just jumped even higher. I love this. If I were 20 years younger and single I’d have a crush.


Mazel Tov motherf*cker. It’s the Dr. Dreidel.

dr-dreidel

Hanukkah just got real up in this piece. I need this toy right now, to go with my Ludacrismas presents. Because we’re a dual faith household. OK, that didn’t work so well but I am pressed for time. Big Daddy Candy Kanes? Oy. Even worse. Never mind. I’ll leave it to the professionals.

Like artist artist Hannah Rothstein who created the Dr. Dreidel. Its conception needs no explanation, natch.

According to her website:

“Each Dr. Dre face has been carefully chosen to correlate with the ‘aftermath’ of the dreidel’s spin.

  • ג  Gimmel, ‘take all,’ is a dreidel player’s dream. It gets a thumbs up from a happy Dr. Dre.
  • ה Hay, ‘take half,’ is no reason to party, but isn’t too shabby, hence the mildly smug portrait or Dr. Dre.
  • נ Nun, ‘nothing happens,’ is a boring outcome. A dead-pan Dr. Dre affirms this.
  • ש Shin, ‘put one in,’ is pretty depressing; the dreidel player loses an M & M or other such playing piece. But shins are seldom a chronic problem in dreidel. Dr. Dre’s definitely overreacting.”

Glitter pills would make you poop glitter but don’t take them because that would be stupid

glitter_pills

Speaking of butts, someone is selling Glitter Pills on Etsy. They’re supposed to make you poop glitter, apparently, but they’re not supposed to make you poop glitter because you’re not supposed to take them. You’re just supposed to look a them and think “Haha. Those pills would make me poop glitter but swallowing glitter would be dangerous, so I’ll just look at them.” Some people probably take them anyway. But you shouldn’t. Don’t take the glitter pills.

From the site: “this item is not meant for consuption, and is only intened for decorative purposes and are not edible, store is not responsible for any misuse of product.” (Typos theirs)

Another way to poop glitter is to becomes a burlesque performer. All the burlesque ladies wind up pooping glitter after performances. It’s a hazard of the trade.


100 years of beauty in one minute

Here are 100 years of beauty in one minute. It’s pretty neat and doesn’t take much time to watch. I miss the 1980s.


Pot vending machine

Pot vending machine needs your drivers license. Dispenses “pot products.” Then this report degenerates into caviar and night crawlers. I dunno.


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