I saw this ages ago and had the good intention of posting it but I’m farking busy, OK? Get off my back. In case you missed it, two brothers added director-style commentaries to their old family home movies. The end result is amusing. This is their YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/ramseybrospictures?feature=watch

After all that initial hype, Die Antwoord never really happened, did they?

After they signed with Interscope in 2010, the Capetown hip hip group left before an album could be released, apparently because of a dispute. And I’ve been dying to see if they’ll make it once a record comes out, since I suspect they might be either too crazy, too novelty, too contrived or all three. I like them. But I think they’re pretty limited in scope.

Apparently we’ll get to see what happens soon, as their album, Ten$ion, finally drops as a self release on February 7. Here’s a new video for “I Fink U Freeky”… they might have a bit of trouble regaining that momentum.

I have a new toy. I bought it in Las Vegas with Lisa, Kristy and Gabriella, where we wound up at an outlet mall because that’s where everyone seemed to think we should go. The people in Las Vegas are very much about the “outlet mall.” When we were trying to find a place to have breakfast that wasn’t underground – Vegas is like a city of mole people – the woman at the concierge desk sent us to the iHop adding that “it’s near the outlet mall!” like that was a BIG BONUS! And then at least three other people, including the doorman and the cab driver, were all “Oh, you’ll be near the outlet mall!” So, as you can imagine, I was excited about this magical place called the “outlet mall,” because I’ve never been to an “outlet mall” before. Well, we went there – but not before breakfast at the iHop, where I’ve also never been and where the waitress almost had a panic attack when Lisa asked for Earl Gray tea, because she didn’t know what it was. She didn’t know what “black tea” was either, so Lisa finally settled on “Tea tea. Lipton’s tea,” because that’s what the waitress said they had – and it turns out the outlet mall is just a collection of stores with cheap, shitty clothes, so I was pretty disappointed. However, and this is a big however, there was a booth selling flying inflatable remote control sharks. Of course, I had to buy one and I’m going to call him Feargal Sharkey. Lisa just looked at me blankly when I said that. Why do I even hang out with her?

The shark is one of these, this is gonna be fun:

Generally.

But today I saw this.

Zombie gnomes. I think. And well, there are some people out there with original ideas after all. I wish I knew who they were. (Link)

No, seriously.

This made my day. Ha! Someone took the time to go through all these movies just so they could put together a video of actors saying the lyrics to Lionel Richie’s “Hello,” It’s so weird that this is a thing.

Last week I found one of Obama “singing” Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” Who. Has. This. Sort. Of. Time? WHO? (Oh, actually, I have an answer. For the first one, anyway. This guy)

I sometimes wish I wasn’t the sort of person who needed eight hours of sleep a night, as I often think one thing that’s holding me back from incredible success is my sleep requirements. The things I could accomplish with three or four more hours in a day! Is the work of an insomniac? Is this what people with extra time on their hands do? Or is there some sort of software that does it for you?

I love this girl. Spinner.ca is calling her videos “viral” which seems like a bit of a stretch, considering they’ve only got a few thousand views each…still, they brought her to my attention. This 17-year-old from “somewhere in central Georgia” is letting her freak flag fly and is my WTF of the day. She calls herself the “Rocker Clogger” and makes videos of herself clog dancing in her backyard to music like The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Johnny Cash and David Bowie, then posts them on her YouTube channel. And she has a pet donkey. I am totally jealous of her weirdness. I bet she doesn’t care what kids in high school think of her, because there’s no WAY she’s popular, right? I wish I’d had the guts to be this weird at that age and didn’t give a damn. Of course, there’s the problem that I wasn’t NEARLY this interesting. My main interests were smoking, boys and um…I think I might have been reading some Anne Rice novels. I didn’t have much substance…also, I’m probably off. All the cool kids in rural Georgia are probably clogging it up to eighties alternative and little Rocker Clogger here is going to be the damn Homecoming Queen.

I also really want to know what lives in the coop behind her. Chickens? Badgers? Adam Ant?

I want to make these cookies…or rather, I really want someone to make these cookies for me because I can’t be bothered to make cookies. Unicorn poop! They are sparkly cookies and they look like unicorn poop! Or at least unicorn poop as imagined by kristylynn84 on instructables.com (via Laughing Squid). Kristylynn84, who is probably very popular, explains:

“Unicorns may manage their elusiveness but they left behind some fanciful evidence of their existence and I was able to recreate their leavings.

“This unicorn poop, in reality, has a funny story.  I told my mom that I was making some “Unicorn Sneezes” and she said “when are you going to make your unicorn sh*t?”  And then it hit me…Great idea, Mom!  It will take a dirty spin and become unicorn poop, instead!  She doesn’t want the credit for encouraging me,  but I still thank her.  Haha.  BTW:  These things are sparkly to the max.  Even more-so than ANY art project.”

The poop, she says, is made of sugar cookies, rainbow dragees, rainbow star sprinkles, white sparkle gel, and rainbow disco dust.

Kristylynn shows you how to make them over on instructables, of course, because that’s what the website is FOR.

Now GO MAKE THEM FOR ME!

I got curious about what other unicorn-related ingestibles are out there, besides, like, unicorn cupcakes and other things that seem pretty obvious (and delicious, don’t get me wrong) – unicorn steak? Kidding! Oh, wow, I am going to hell for that one – and managed to find a recipe for a unicorn cocktail. Well, there are a few out there but this one was the most disgusting looking:

Unicorn Recipe
1 dash Midori Melon Liqueur
1 part Vodka
1 part Brandy
1 part Coffee Liqueur
1 dash Cointreau
2 parts Irish Cream
2 parts Milk

Barf.

Hey! It’s E-L-I-Z-A-B-E-T-H talking to you! Or N-I-Z-Z-I-E when I’m feeling special. This video of thirty years of rappers spelling their own names just made me so happy I can’t even tell you.