India’s Got Talent is farking insane

These dudes are everywhere on the web over the past couple of weeks. So, I can’t imagine you missed it, but if you have just woken up from a coma or returned from outer space (and in either case, congratulations!) The Warriors of Goja were recent contestants on India’s Got Talent.

They remind me of this guy my friend once had a one night stand with who used to hammer himself with nails and walk on swords and stuff, on stage, as part of a show. Those freakshow and sideshow things were everywhere in the 1990s. I won’t share either of their names because she is SUPER embarrassed about it and if I ever want to shut her up about anything I’ve ever done, all I have to do is remind her of it.

Anyway, I can’t figure out if the Warriors of Goja have a philosophy or anything  but I can note that India’s Got Talent looks like a lot more fun than America’s Got Talent.

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The lady behind the airport voice

I love this sort of thing. It’s like, oh my God, the voice at the airport telling me not to leave my bag unattended and that my flight is delayed actually belongs to a person! Same as the time I saw a video about Don LaFontaine, the voice of Law & Order (“In the criminal justice system…blah blah…” Dun DUN!) and, like, a million movie trailers. He died in 2008 but before that he was Thunder Throat (erm, ha!) and The Voice of God.

This is the woman behind airport announcements. And she seems like a nice lady.

On the other hand, if I ever meet that bitch Andrea who used to answer whenever I called Fido…I think I might punch her in the face (not really) and DON’T GET  ME STARTED ON BELL CANADA’S EMILY. SHE SAYS “UM…I DIDN’T GET THAT.” BITCH! COMPUTERS DON’T SAY “UM.” GODDAMMITSOMUCH.

 


Stinkers the superfriendly porcupine is full of love

Gah! I never saw a porcupine interact with people before! I didn’t know you could keep them as pets. His name is STINKERS and this video is two years old. He WAS a pet and now he lives on a wildlife conservation. Come for the snuffling. Stay for the spinning in circles. Le sigh. (source PBh2.com)


Nice refreshing glass of beef broth?

Reading Ogilvy on Advertising by David Ogilvy and came across this gem from the 70s – a website I found said it was 1972. Add a dash of Worcestershire or lemon peel for a kicky switch! Delicious!


No, I’m not. I don’t agree with you.


Porn star turned disco star Andrea True (More, More More) dead at 68

Andrea True, who had a major hit in 1976 with the song “More, More, More” (which I’ve been known to sing as “Mo, Mo, Mo” for my friend Mo, who is actually mentioned in the previous post) died earlier this month at age 68.

True was a well known porn star before hitting the disco scene with her group Andrea True Connection. She also released the singles “N.Y. You Got Me Dancing” in 1977 and “What’s Your Name, What’s Your Number” in 1978. Her third album tanked and she left the music industry and, according to Dangerous Minds, she’d been working as a psychic for a number of years.

According to the Kingston Daily Freeman, True died on November 7 of causes that have not been released.

The Freeman also says More, More, More is being used in a TV commercial for the Post cereal Honey Bunches of Oats.


Mo At The Diner Last Week


Look at the kitty! Catvertising!

Look! A kitty!

A few months ago I read about a fascinating scientific discovery that showed that people are more likely to click on a picture of a cat than on a picture that is not of a cat (the above picture is of my cat, Kafka).

The Toronto Star reported that, “A cat in an ad will get 78 per cent more Facebook users to click through to your company website, according to the findings of Red Square Agency, an ad agency based in Mobile, Ala.”

So, this ever so clever video was made about an ad agency that decided to take it to the muthafuckin’ EXTREME!

Bonus: video has cats in it.

(Also, I think it might be made in Toronto. Not sure…did you make it?)


baconlube, for porking, available for a limited time,

Bacon has become one of those niche fetishized obsessions lately, with entire fan clubs, businesses and social media pages devoted to the salty pork meat. An endless array of bacon products is popping up on the market, both edible and non – bacon ice cream, bacon gum, bacon shower curtains, ties and lip balm.

The trend is one of many fuck yous of sorts to contemporary politically sensitive and health conscious norms, even among those who pretend to live by those norms. Many a quasi vegetarian will unapologetically chow down on bacon – a hypocrisy that drives me nuts, particularly in friends who will still fuss over vegetarian fare being provided at dinner parties. FUCK, I hate it.

ANYWAY. Bacon. Itself. There’s something fascinating about the Western relationship with bacon. Almost, dare I say, sexual?

Boo ya! Brought it home, dawg! Allow me to present, baconlube. Perfect for porking. Manufactured by J&D’s, which also makes bacon salt, baconnaise and the aforementioned lip balm, baconlube is bacon flavoured and only available for a limited time. (And I don’t know of it’s pork based or not. I got the impression it was but then was informed that that wouldn’t be latex friendly. A tour around the website didn’t come up with answer. I do know all the company’s products are kosher though, as in blessed by rabbis [of questionable jewishness, I’d say], not pork free).

The J&D’s website says, “baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool’s prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built.”

And in a statement, via The Star, they point to a poll from Maple Leaf Foods which found that 43 per cent of Canadians would choose bacon over sex and say, “Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again. So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome — we’ve got your back.”

Yep.

I made chocolate covered bacon a few times. Here’s how:

Ingredients:

A package of bacon

Some dark chocolate (I never measure stuff)

Instructions:

Fry a package of bacon until it’s quite crispy. Soak off excess oil w/ paper towel.

Melt dark chocolate in a double boiler.

Dip bacon in chocolate and place on tin foil (wax paper would probably work too). Put in freezer for about 10-15 minutes.

I served with vanilla ice cream and homemade raspberry sauce.


MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON, TWO!!!

Yay. I was wondering when this would show up. You saw the first one, right?

Animation by Dean Fleischer-Camp and starring Jenny Slate (who was on SNL from 2009-2010) as Marcel.

There’s a book too, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On: Things About Me. If you like, you can buy it for me.