Kim Jong-un looking at things, it’s the new Kim Jong-il looking at things

Now that the dear leader Kim Jong-il is dead, kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com will likely be put to rest. The creators have made a space for his son, the new dear leader, kimjongunlookingatthings.tumbr.com, because the new dear leader likes to look at things too, like a translator, his hands…and YOU. About an hour after it went up, this guy apparently ripped them off and tried to create his very own site about Kim Jong-un looking at things, complete with stealing their tagline. Asshole.

Something about how funny this whole North Korea thing all is to us unsettles me. Not sure what to do with that thought yet. Just sayin’.

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Christmas puppies are Christmasy

Here are some puppies unwrapping Christmas presents and doing general puppy things. I wish I had a litter of puppies under my Christmas tree. I wish I had a Christmas tree, for that matter, but we haven’t gotten around to that yet.

The music is by Elton Luz.


Motörhead vodka. Yes please! Oh…right.

Here is another example of a booze we will never get in Canada because our choices are controlled by government. Gah! This makes me so freaking mad.

File Motörhead vodka next to Whitesnake wine and fluffed marshmallow vodka on the list of things I can’t have. Not that I NEED more kinds of vodka. It’s a principle of the thing.

Well, it’s only available in Sweden at the moment anyway, though I bet if an American person ordered some they wouldn’t be charged 106% of the price in duty on top of shipping etc.

I hate the world.


The cutest baby fruit bat you will see all day (unless you work at a bat sanctuary, I guess)

This is a short-tailed fruit bat and his name is Lil Drac. Ahhhhh!

Though he is superadorable, you should not pick up a lil fruit bat should you come across one, as bats sometimes have rabies and that can kill you.

Lil’ Drac was taken in by Bat World Sanctuary after his mother abandoned him. Don’t judge her too harshly – she was traumatized when the zoo where she was living closed and she had to be moved.

This clip is like a how-to for raising baby bats – stroke them with cotton swaps to simulate a mother’s tongue, feed them formula by soaking a sponge – but don’t forget what I said about not getting your own bat.

The sanctuary’s website has crashed today thanks to the popularity of the video.


Speak like Kristen Stewart (a how to guide)

I’m always trying to figure out what bugs me so much about Kristen Stewart (even though, not being a watcher of the Twilight movies, I don’t actually see much of her). Well, I think this woman has pretty much nailed it in her how to speak like K-Stew guide with tips like “look nauseous.”

For the record, however, I disagree VEHEMENTLY with the statement that K-Stew is “hot.” It always makes me feel like I’m taking crazy pills when people talk about this woman is though she’s a raving beauty. Look, she looks fine. I’m not mad at her looks. If you brought her out to dinner as your new girlfriend, I’d think she was cute. But the very idea that the WHOLE PLOT of Snow White and the Huntsman is supposed to be based around the notion that Kristen Stewart is better looking that Charlize Theron is so stupid it got fired from the M&M factory because it kept throwing out all the Ws. Just had to get that out there. (Video actually went up in July but I just discovered it via Doobybrain)

(Image: lukeford.net)


The Three Stooges movie trailer is perfect

People don’t know what they want. REALLY. They don’t know.

It’s probably very difficult to make a movie version of a property as beloved as The Three Stooges, and I never got The Three Stooges and kind of hate them, which means I can’t fairly judge this trailer for the Farrelly Brothers’ new movie.

But to me, it looks pretty much exactly like the Three Stooges, to perfection. Could this look more Stooges-y? Does that mean it looks good? It looks wretched. But it also looks perfect. People all over the web are saying it looks terrible as though there’s a way it could have been better. How on EARTH could this have been better?

It’s possible, I suppose, that because I am not a fan, there’s something I’m missing. Is the subtlety and nuance of the Stooges getting lost here? Was their oeuvre full of obscure references and one percenter jokes about Foucault or Plato’s Symposium and I TOTALLY MISSED IT? Were they giving over my head nods to physics or phenomenology? And now that subtlety has been lost?

Because if not, it’s a FARKING THREE STOOGES MOVIE. IT’S PERFECT.


Cheeseburger wrapping paper

This is Cheeseburger wrapping paper. But it only exists in prototype and will only be available if the people of Gift Couture, which also only exists in prototype, I think, raise $7,900 by January 1.

The burger paper is Gift Couture’s kickstarter project, for real, it’s their first project and they have a Kickstarter page to raise funds.

They explain: “We created this project to launch Gift Couture, a creative and innovative wrapping paper company. Gift Couture will offer high-quality wrapping paper sets that feature original photography and design. Our main goal is to produce unique papers that coordinate together into conceptualized themes and sets. This is exemplified in the Cheeseburger set that we chose to use as this initial project. This includes 5 different wrapping paper designs; a bun, hamburger, cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes, all of the components of a Cheeseburger!”

If you think the world needs cheeseburger wrapping paper and more conceptualized wrapping paper thingamies, go here.

 


Dog eating cookies with his hands

This doggie is named Bizzle (which is homey for “bitch”) and he is eating cookies. This amuses me.


H&M admits using computer generated bodies in its ads

Hilarious. H&M has admitted it doesn’t use real people in its ads, but model heads pasted onto fake bodies.

I cut and pasted the Swedish article in the Aftonbladet – found via Jezebel – into the Google translator and it says “The shapely form is manufactured – in the computer….different girls’ heads have been on a computer animated body.”

A spokesperson says the company does it to “show off the clothes.”

Google translator goes on “At H & M’s online store shows up models wearing giant panties [HAhahahahaha!], bikinis and other clothing. But the girls are not in reality. They are cutting and pasting works created in the computer.”

Someone named Helle Vaagland says “This illustrates very well the sky-high aesthetic demands placed on the female body. The demands are so great that H & M among the poor photo models can not find someone with both body and face that can sell their bikinis.”

Hey, at least they made one of the fake bodies black.

It’s all digital now.


Amazing, holy fark pole dance by Jenyne Butterfly

This is some pretty AMAZING pole dancing. For the record, I wish she’d done it to something other than Florence + The Machine, because I can’t STAND Florence + The Machine. But I guess there’s no way she could have known that, so I’ll let it go this time. But maybe next time we could go for some Yeezy?

This woman’s name is Jenyne Butterfly and she is an aerial performance artist and champion pole dancer.

This makes me feel like I need to do some sit-ups or something…but I think we all know I’m gonna have another hot chocolate with vodka and whipped cream.