Kanzi the bonobo builds a fire and cooks food. He’s more useful than I am.

And we’re back from the holidays. Sober and full of self loathing. Onward and upwards. Pip pip and all that.

This chimp is named Kanzi and he lives at the Great Ape Trust in Iowa. He can build fires and cook food, which particularly impresses me since I can’t build a fire and cook my own food. I mean, maybe I could but I never have – not without help. Also, he’s a Bonobo and I kind of thought Bonobos just had sex all the time with whatever fellow Bonobo was close by, including family members and their own children (with the possible exception of abstaining from sexual intercourse between mothers and their adult sons) which is totally freaky and weird.

Kanzi’s bio says:

Name means “treasure” in Swahili

Birthday: October 28, 1980

Favorite Foods: Onions, cherries with orange soda

Favorite Toy: Green ball

Favorite Activities: Kanzi enjoys working in research trials and on puzzles that allow him to show his intelligence, as well as sorting items and grooming.

Favorite Game: Chase

What makes Kanzi unique?

Kanzi, the world’s undisputed ape-language superstar, was the first of his species to acquire language as children do: by being exposed to it. The first ape to demonstrate receptive competence of spoken English, Kanzi excels in research featuring novel sentences – that is, phrases that preclude the learning of specific responses. He also is adept at stone toolmaking, giving scientists insight into cognitive and biomechanical skills and constraints, and helping them better understand levels of skill in early prehistoric ancestors.

Wow, right? Watch him build a fire and roast marshmallows below.

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