I don’t know. Really. Why would you even? Like, even as a joke? The world is an odd place.
(Via Foodiggity & available here)
Here are some facts to make you smarter.
“Every ten years your entire body has replaced itself. Every atom in your body is different now, meaning you have no more in common with your previous self than any other human being that’s lived or will ever live.”
Whoa. Dude. Wait…what?
(Via Viral Viral Videos)
A company called Smuggle Mug, which specializes in mugs that allow you to smuggle booze into the party, also has a product called Shampbooze. Apparently, the big selling point here is the ability to smuggle booze onto cruise ships, where I gather drinks are super pricey (I’ve never been on a cruise).
The typo-ridden (I assume they’re all drunk) website explains, “First put your alcohol of choice into a shampooze bottle then put it in your checked luggage. There is no way it will be discovered because it’s in a virgin food grade plastic bottle thats labled with an organic specialty shampoo and conditioner label. This will allow you to sneak alcohol onto any cruise line! Then once you get to your cabin take the bottles out pour the drink into the hidden flask of your smuggle mug and your good to party anywhere on your cruise ship. By far the most effective way to sneak alcohol onto your cruise. Twice as strong as rum runners and over $2 cheeper. The label is masked to protect its stealth identity.”
I totally get why one might want to smuggle booze into a venue – sometimes you can’t afford to buy drinks. I used to stick bottle down my pants. YOU DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO, OK? – but I bet you could also just use an old shampoo bottle and get the same result. Though at $6.95 they’re not terribly expensive. I like that the product has been put through all sort of scientific testing but the people who run the site can’t spell “cheaper.” (Via Incredible Things)
I have actually never wondered how a person with no arms gets dressed, but that doesn’t mean the information isn’t both fascinating and valuable.
This is Tisha Unarmed. She says on the video’s YouTube page, “Getting dressed in the morning can be difficult when you don’t have arms.
Today I put on a simple outfit that was easy to put on, but the more I think about it
I spend a good portion of my morning getting dressed.” (Via Buzzfeed)
This is the best use of cliché I have seen in a while.
A dude who calls himself Bacon Moose (of course) paid a $137 traffic ticket with 137 origami pigs made of $1 bills, and took a secret video of the cops’ reactions, which look like they’re going to be totally humourless until towards the end.
Bacon Moose writes on the video page, “I got this ticket in a town where the cops (and absurd redlight cameras) are pretty much a money trap and that’s it. I decided to pay in an appropriate manner – 137 origami pig $1 bills, put in a pair of dozen-donut dunkin donut boxes….Yes, I know the video kinda sucks. I stuffed a phone sideways in my tshirt pocket and just let it run while I was there, was kinda difficult to aim it.”
I’m not sure whether I agree that he should be sticking it to the system. For all I know he was going 150 MPH and terrorizing old ladies. But I am amused by his methods.
Line that makes the price of admission worth it: “But look at the cute little piggies!”
See more images of the origami pig process at Imgur.
Now that we are all well acquainted with Zeus, the world’s tallest dog, here’s the guy who holds the Guinness record for the world’s tallest mohawk. The best part about this guy is that he thinks being recognized as the dude with the tallest mohawk is the “best feeling in the world.”
The best feeling in the world! For having tall hair! You gotta have a goal, man.
Another great thing about this video is the serious old-style reporting for such a silly subject.
“His hair rises from the dome of his head like an antenna, broadcasting to the world that Kazuhiro Watanabe is a record holder.” Somebody give that writer a raise.
(Image: Guinness World Records Facebook)
This is Zeus. He is very tall, the tallest dog in the world, according to the 2013 Guinness Book of World Records, which is available now.
His mom Denise tells his story in the below video. I like the part where she’s says her husband wanted to name him an ironic biker name like Tiny or Peanut or something “crazy” like that.
I once met a biker named Half and when I asked him why they called him that, he said “Cuz I only got one nut.” But that doesn’t have anything to do with Zeus, who probably doesn’t have any nuts.
(Image: Guinness World Records Facebook)
OK, if Santa is reading this, Santa: can you please get me these for Christmas this year? I promise I’ll never ask for another thing again. Until I have another favourite thing, which will probably be tomorrow…but never mind that right now.
From the Amazon description: “Hand made hand painted ** Limited addition ** Quality – excellent. ** Very colorful, detailed artwork. ** Lacquer finish. *** Signature on the base. ** Material – wood. *** Short history of Russian matrioshkas and tips for caring will be e-mailed ** Worldwide shipment from Russia (takes 2-4 weeks) Weight adjusted for actual shipment cost. WARNING * Choking hazard * Not recommended for small kids as small items inside”
Got that? Do NOT give these Motorhead nesting dolls to any small children.
From the good folks at Big Cat Rescue who brought us such classic videos as Do Tigers Like Catnip?? and BIG CATS vs Laser Pointers comes the surefire hit Do Big Cats Like Marmite??
Of course they don’t. Nobody likes that stuff but Brits and Aussies, right?