Automatic sperm collector

I’m glad I’m not the guy who just stuck his finger in this thing, only to find out it’s a SPERM COLLECTOR, designed for use in fertility clinics and hospitals. Because, gross.

 

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This is a very weird video

Sooooo, this was posted in 2006, but Pee Wee Herman just posted it now on Twitter, which brought it to the attention of Laughing Squid, which brought it to to mine.

Here is a super weird woman exercising with poodles. And, apparently, this is a word-for-word parody of Susan Powter’s first workout video. ( Susan Powter is also very strange. And loud.)

The video was part of a series of 10 films made for the 2004 Athens Olympics, by Nagi Noda.


Guinea pigs eating watermelon

I have no idea what you’re talking about. So, here are some guinea pigs eating watermelon.


Man performs CPR on a squirrel

This guy found a squirrel floating lifeless in a pool and saved it with CPR. Because he is awesome. Who does that?

I’m a little worried because that looks like a baby squirrel and I don’t know where his mommy is but maybe I’m overthinking this. I have a tendency to overthink things.


Man gets stuck in Vegas airport alone, overnight. Makes epic music video

Vegas_Airport

My friends and I got stuck in Vegas overnight. We got sent to a LA Quinta motel, which I think is Spanish for “Air Canada are f*cking cheap bastards.”

This guy got stuck in Vegas overnight and stayed in the airport to make this AMAZING music video to Celine Dion’s “All By Myself,” making good use of the moving sidewalks, escalators and assorted airport whatnot.

He explains (via Gawker)

“I had a person behind a ticket counter give me a roll of luggage tape before she left. I then used a wheel chair that had a tall pole on the back of it and taped my iPhone to that. Then I would put it on the moving walkway for a dolly shot. I also used the extended handle on my computer bag and taped the iPhone to my handle. I would tuck different stuff under the bag to get the right angle. For the escalator shot I had to sprint up the steps after I got my shot so the computer bag didn’t hit the top and fall back down. Quite fun!”

Who wins? This guy. I wish we’d thought of this.

(Thanks Gabriella!)

 


Bad parkour. I could totally do this.

Fake_Parkour

You know how you’re always coming up with ideas* for awesome creative projects and 99.9%** of them never materialize? Then, once in a while, someone else goes and does it and you’re all “HEY! THAT WAS MY IDEA, DIRTBAG!”

I have this one, it’s called “Pick Your Ass.” My plan is to take pictures of people’s naked butts – just the butt – like dozens of them, maybe hundreds, label them so that only I know whose is whose, then mount them on a wall and invite everyone to see if they can pick their own ass out of a lineup. I love this idea. I have been talking about doing it for about five years. I will probably never do it.

No, nobody has gone and done that. That would be insane.

But my husband has been talking for about as long about making a “parkour” video of himself jumping on and off curbs and such and taking it very seriously. And now someone has gone and done that.  “HEY! THAT WAS MY HUSBAND’S IDEA, DIRTBAG!”

It’s not exactly the same but it’s pretty close. Oh well. It’s amusing.

When you’re drunk

** 100%


Dude pole dances and plays the clarinet

I don’t know what’s going on here. And I don’t care.

 


Dog gets yearbook photo

Taxi_Benke

This is Taxi, a service dog for seventh grader Rachel Benke, who has epilepsy. He got his own yearbook photo because he is just that awesome.

He goes everywhere with the soon-to-be eight-grader, including accepting awards at school, celebrating birthdays, and even on the school track where he one day sprung into action.

“Her aide was holding Taxi on the side and he just started pulling away from the aide as hard as he could trying to get to Rachel,” [Theresa] Benke said.

She said once they got her inside, Rachel had a grand mal seizure, and Taxi wouldn’t leave the girl’s side.

“I don’t know how Taxi [k]new this, but he wouldn’t let anyone near her until the paramedics arrived,”- KHOU 11.

(Via Laughing Squid)


I don’t usually post fart-related content but this is funny

Babies getting scared by farts.


Man interviews his guinea pig. As one does.

This is pretty funny.