I’m a little busy right now so I’m taking a break. I’m posting this notice so that, should you stumble upon here, you don’t think I left it hanging and just forgot about it. Thanks for stopping by and see you eventually.
Here is a tiny hamster going trick or treating. It’s cute. I have nothing else to say.
Tal Peleg is an artist who uses eyes for her canvas.
“Makeup is an amazing form of art, and I use it in order to make my eye tell a story. I don’t just paint on the eye, but try to use the shape of the eye and its natural curves as part of the illustration in a creative way,” she writes on Bored Panda.
Even better, I Googled her and it looks like she’s doing this on her own eyes! Amazing! I can’t even put on eyeliner.
This is the coolest thing you will see all day. I have no idea what this guy is saying but I like the seriousness of his affect. He’s probably saying “I have just established myself as the coolest person on Earth, bitches. Now get me a drink. Oh, no, you don’t have to because my R2D2 remote controlled mini fridge will do that for me. You go make my bed.”
I don’t know if this is a whopper of a a lie (HA. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? OMG I NEED A COCKTAIL) but apparently Burger King is launching a “Flame Grilled” scent on April 1.
It smells like burgers, as far as I understand it, and will only be available for for 5,000 yen (about $40) for one day and one day only, and only in Japan. Get your plane tickets NOW.
OK, so I’m late to this party. That’s because I’ve been busy. Also because nobody invites me to parties anymore, so I have to crash them and then I drink all the booze and yell at people, which is why nobody invites me to parties. None of that is true. Anymore. Except the part about me being late to the party, and being busy.
They call that a LEDE, people. Look it up. It’s a writing term.
This guy claims to have invented a pill that makes your farts smell like roses or chocolate.
According to The Telegraph, a Frenchman named Christian Poincheval has developed a range of pills aimed at making people’s flatulence smell sweeter that he says will make the perfect Christmas present.
They’re apparently made of “100 percent natural ingredients such as fennel, seaweed and blueberries.”
You can buy them online at pilulepet.com, where they retail for €9.99 euros for a jar of 60.
“Mr Poincheval said he came up with the idea for the pills one evening when he was enjoying a hearty meal with some friends.
“Our farts were so smelly we were nearly suffocated. Something had to be done,” he said.
So he began researching natural ingredients that would reduce flatulence and after months of experimentation came up with the recipe for his pills.
He has been selling the pills since 2006 and says he sells several hundred a month.” (The Telegraph)
The part that stands out most about this story for me is who farts at the dinner table??? Yeesh. That’s disgusting.
“I don’t know what the f*ck this is. It’s just somethin’ sweet for the f*ckin’ kids, OK?”
This is Auntie Fee, a.k.a. Sista Girl. I love her.
Hilarious. Plus, in all seriousness, she is teaching valuable lessons about cooking on a budget. Sh*t. Motherf***er. She’s f***in’ awesome. I tag this high art.
Move over Jesus. There’s a new toastface in town and it’s MINE. Or whoever’s. It’s a customizable selfie toaster by a company called Burnt Impressions, that specializes in toasters that create images, which I think is a probably a pretty niche market.
If you’re wondering how it works, there’s more info on Mashable.
This is so weird.
Ester Honig, a “human interest reporter” shared a picture with 40 photo editors in over 25 countries, using service sharing site Fiverr (not sure if the project is an ad for Fiverr but it might as well be) and told them to “make me look beautiful.” So they went to town with the Photoshop.
The idea, I think, is that it’s supposed to show the ideal beauty in each of these countries, though really it may just show the ideal of the photo editor and maybe doesn’t say anything about the country at all. I don’t know. But let’s say it does say something about the country (it makes a better headline)…
The result? She looks worse in every single retouched photograph than in the untouched one (above). I’m not just saying that. She’s a pretty girl and I really think she looks better as is – and I don’t say that about everyone (OK, I kind of do but not ALWAYS).
The U.S.A. version is literally gross. She looks like a child pageant queen with a squishy face starring in a young adult vampire B movie.
Sri Lankans don’t know how to apply makeup evenly
Germans like redheads
Greeks really likes eyelashes
Meanwhile, Honig herself said, “Photoshop allows us to achieve our unobtainable standards of beauty, but when we compare those standards on a global scale, achieving the ideal remains all the more elusive.”
Here are the pictures.
Here is a cat named Willie unrolling the toilet paper, then rolling it back up. Because he is tidy and thoughtful.
(Via Laughing Squid)