I’m not usually the sort of person who looks at those weird, coronary-inducing contemporary food concoctions, like poutine stuffed pizza, and sneers “Ew. Look at all that fat and calories! That’s disgusting!” I usually think they look delicious. But this one is kind of disgusting.

It’s a deep fried PB&J Burger, available for a limited time at a place called PYT, in Philadelphia (I don’t know if it has anything to do with the Michael Jackson song, but I hope so). The thing apparently clocks in at 2000 calories.

I can get behind the kettle chip-encrusted peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, but it kind of loses me at the big slab of meat topped with bacon in the middle. Don’t get me wrong. I can also get behind slabs of meat topped with bacon, I’m just not sure about the total combo. I think I’d lose the burger and put the bacon inside the deep fried sammich. Yum. Now we’re talking chicken.

(via Daily Mail)

I’m guessing your mind would have gone towards something to keep my vagina warm, which is a weird idea, but is it more or less weird than the actual “vagina toaster?”

I only have questions. No answers.

Buy one here. 

(blurred image taken from The Worst Things for Sale, for social media posting purposes)

This is one of the weirder things I’ve seen this week.

A woman who calls herself “Beautiful Existence” decided to live off nothing but the menu items at Starbucks for a year. (Beautiful Existence’s website says “YES, it is my real name,” but doesn’t say whether that’s because her parents named her that or because she named herself that. After all, what is “real” when it comes to names?). No, she didn’t lock herself in a Starbucks after a car backfired, thinking the end of the world had come, only to emerge a year later and realize her mistake. It’s one of a few “challenges” she’s set for herself, another of which was shopping at Goodwill for a year (I THINK. Honestly, her blogs are really confusing).

Why? Well, that’s a question she answers thusly:

“WHY? am I doing this challenge? Or WHY? will I do any challenge in the future? Because I LOVE being human and I LOVE the privilege of being able to ask the question WHY? in the first place! I love the question WHY? because sometimes I find that the answer leaves me with even more questions about life… and then, my circle starts all over again and I wouldn’t want my WHY? any other way.”

I suspect another reason might be that Starbucks paid her after discovering her challenge blogs. Or probably just offered her free food. It’s the sort of thing companies do these days, seek out people on the Internet to do promo stuff for a fraction of what it used to cost to buy an ad. And if they didn’t seek her out, well, I guess she just really likes Starbucks. To each her own. It takes all sorts etc. etc. I know this sort of thing has been done before, with subway and MacDonald’s.

Existence claims the “Starbucks Diet DOES WORK!” and offers the “Top 5 Ways to Live Healthy at Starbucks” on her site. These include “Work Out” and “Count Calories.” Er…OK. Thank goodness I don’t have to live at Starbucks to do those things.

See her website here.

(via Laughing Squid)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: some people have a lot of extra time on their hands. How do they DO IT???

I am so bad at time management. I’m late for everything. I always feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day. I don’t get to exercise or have cool hobbies or take that sommelier course I’ve always wanted to take…or travel…some days I don’t even get to shower.

MEANWHILE, there are people out there poring over Barak Obama speeches to find split second clips so they can put together fake videos of the POTUS singing LMFAO tunes. Or doing this: Recreating Anchorman with their cats.  What? The? Fark? WHO HAS THIS KIND OF TIME??? (The same people who brought us Elf recreated with pugs, apparently.)

I need to go to bed now. I’m exhausted. Happy Caturday in advance.

(via Neatorama)

Need a job? This guy will pay you 40k a year to attend Harvard.

“I am looking for someone to attend Harvard University pretending to be me for four years, starting August 2014. I will pay for your tuition, books, housing, transportation, and living expenses and pay $40,000 a year with a $10,000 bonus after graduation. All you have to do is attend all classes, pass all tests, and finish all assigned work, while pretending you are me.

You do not need to worry about being accepted, I have already taken care of that.”

He doesn’t say what program he’s been accepted to – medical school? law? comparative literature? philosophy? astronomy? – so I can imagine the application process for this position being a bit of a clusterfuck.

Women need not apply: “you must be a male since I have a male name.”

Harrumph. Sexist. Can we sue?

I’m a little late to this party but whatever. I have a baby.

This is not a real product but this video is still pretty funny. Enjoy, if you haven’t seen it yet either.

Here is a video of a man snorting paint and shooting it out of his eyes onto canvas.

His name is Leandro Granato and he’s from Argentina. He looks very serious.

(Via Time)

I’ve just discovered dinosaur erotica. When I first saw a headline about this earlier today, I didn’t click the link (I know, right? I don’t know what I was thinking,) and somehow got the idea that dinosaur erotica would be about dinosaurs doing it, which is weird, but it’s actually about human women doing it with dinosaurs, so, like bestiality porn but with extinct reptiles (dinosaurs are reptiles, right?), which is maybe less weird in a way but still weird.

The author of these works of dirty fiction is one Christie Sims, whose Amazon author page has her posing arse up on the beach,  like she’s waiting for a pig ol’ triceratops to come sniffin’ around, and says she’s a “plain old, everyday Midwestern girl that lives a normal life.” With one big difference. Sims explains, “While my outward tastes are relatively simple, my inner thoughts are filled with lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful monsters having their way with beautiful maidens.”

The bio finishes with “I hope you enjoy these tales of beautiful maidens exploring their lust for these powerful creatures as much as I had writing them,” which, not to nitpick, makes me worry a bit for the quality of the writing in these books. But I guess the writing quality isn’t the point. 

She has written TONS of them.

Here’s the Amazon description for “T-Rex Troubles” in which a blonde woman, as seen above, goes shopping at Victoria’s Secret in prehistoric times:

In a land before time, Layla hunts for her tribe. The men belittle and threaten her, a woman who hunts like a man, until, desperate, she sets out alone after the most fearsome beast in the world- a T-Rex.

As she hunts the giant predator, a very special T-Rex is hunting her- this T-Rex has psychic powers and a desire for human flesh. Naked and alone, Layla bargains with the beast: her body for her life.

Can Layla accept the beast’s carnal demands? Can her body accommodate its relentless desire? Can she hold to her part of the bargain? Or will she become the T-Rex’s next meal?

OMG, WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN????

(Via Laughing Squid)

Here is an incredibly weird anti-porn PSA. That is all.

Neat.

You have to click that above link to see pictures, since I can’t steal them from Reuters.

The 22-year-old man, identified as Xiaolian, was in a traffic accident in 2012, as a result of which his nose was damaged. He didn’t seek treatment and I guess things got bad and now they’re making him a new one, sculpted from cartilage taken from his ribs. A skin tissue expander was also involved. 

“Doctors say that they will soon be able to carry out a transplant operation to replace the damaged nose with the newly grown one.”

I guess the lesson here is, if you damage your nose in a traffic accident, you should seek help, but if you don’t, there are some doctors in China who can grow you a new one.